Got Yarn?

Aug. 24th, 2006 06:37 am
staxxy: (Doll- Krista)
For my friends who are into yarn crafts, I give you hand dyed yarns (wool, cotton, and a few others).

clicky the linky to the color sampling page of a friend of mine. She also takes requests, and ships.

SYTYCD

Aug. 10th, 2006 08:36 pm
staxxy: (Default)
In other news...

wtf?

is part 2 next week then?

anyone know?
staxxy: (shrink)
things everyone should remember:

It is *NOT* always about you, and USUALLY isn't even.

Acting as though it IS about you is a fast way to burn bridges with people.

Ranting or Venting about something is not the same as asking for Reassurance or Help. Be clear about what you are doing and you will probably get what you need out of it.

Some things really ARE a big deal. Usually things that involve death or commonly fatal diseases, and any injury that leaves you actually deformed for life (as an example: the cut inside my lip that required several stitches but can not be seen unless I SHOW it to anyone on purpose = an amusing story, not a big huge deal. A friend cutting off a large portion of the top of their finger = big deal, and possibly an amusing story in the future). The key to what makes it a big deal is "WILL THIS ACTUALLY HAVE A MAJOR AFFECT ON MY LIFE FOREVER OR JUST FOR THE NEXT DAY/WEEK/MONTH?" And really, a lot of things that will have a major affect on your next month are a big deal... like getting your car stolen (although, to be honest, this will affect you the rest of your life).
Please do not act like something is a major life altering event if you are going to be over it in a day or two. Drama is making a big deal out of things that aren't a big deal, and is often more of a "he said/she said/they said" situation than it needs to be.

When all is said and done, everyone is as worried about their own lives and bullshit as you are. This means they are unlikely to waste a lot of time focused on what you, unless you are a major part of their lives. This also means that things they say are unlikely to have anything to do with YOU.

No comments for you. This is only a public service message. (this post is directed at everyone, not to anyone person in particular. Everyone should remember these things. Even me.)
staxxy: (Sessions)
okay, yeah it's really fucking hot here. It was bound to happen. And I am extremely sensitive to the damn heat, and always have been.

So I give you some of the ways that *I* have always used to beat the heat:

#1 KNOW YOUR TOLERANCES. No really. It is important to be aware of how hot is actually *too* hot for you. When do you get cranky or grumpy? When do you get way too uncomfortable? My zone is around 78. I start to get whiney and uncomfortable and unhappy around that temperature. Knowing this, I can gauge what activities I can or can not do based on what the ambient temperature will be at that venue or on that day. If it is going to be more than 80, I should bail because *no one* will want to be around me that day anyway (no really, you have not seen grumpy cranky bitch if you have not seen me do it - imagine the polar opposite of the kind, nurturing, caring Staxxy everyone is used to).

#2 KNOW YOUR BODY. Do you sweat a lot or not much? Do you dehydrate easily? Does the heat make it hard to eat? If you don't sweat a lot - carry a mister, so that you can simulate the benefits of it (but not in the sun or you will burn like BACON). If you dehydrate easily be sure you are getting extra salts and elecrolytes alone with your extra water - lemonade is your friend. If the heat makes it hard to eat, be sure to eat cold foods like salads and make certain you have enough cool proteins on hand - the key is to minimize the amount of cooking you need to do in order to eat and to minimize the amount of heat you are exposed to.

#3 COOL AND COLD WATER. don't go from extreme heat to extreme cold. You will send yourself into shock. The quick ways to cool off is lukewarm/tepid water in the shower or bath (very refreshing for a fast rinse when you get home from work). Ice bags or bottles (like you use for a sprain or headache) are really useful for sleeping with. Make sure you wrap them in a towel, again with the shock. And we also go back to the spritzer - if you mist your sheets, it will cool them off. Same with tepid water on your feet and hands. I keep a spray bottle by my bed, and a 2 liter in the freezer which I wrap in a towel and sleep with like a hot water bottle (only, the opposite really).

#4 SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. No really. Cool it with the major activity. Building up heat inside your body is not going to cool you down. When things are WAY TOO HOT for you, cut back on the physical activity a bit.

#5 DRESS FOR IT. Wear loose and lightweight clothing. Wear sunscreen if you are going to be exposed to direct sunlight. Wear a sunscreen that is strong enough for your skin. Hawaiin Sun makes an SPF 70 for children and babies. It works great.

#6 WEAR THE RIGHT SHOES. Lots of heat is retained in your shoes. Make sure you are keeping your feet really well ventilated.

and now it is time to grab my icebottle and go to bed. Stay cool in the heat kids. and remember that everyone is grumpy in the heat, try not to take it personally.
staxxy: (Default)
An Assortment of Questions About Religion, Gossip, and Vampires.

(while MOST of you have seen this link already, not everyone on my list has... and I like to share with the WHOLE class)
staxxy: (Diamonds)
anyone local got a set of cruches I can borrow?

I fell down the stairs.

I don't appear to have *broken* anything, but it is a Really ugly sprain. I took 3 222s and am icing my foot on the couch, but I can't put any weight on it.

I am so grateful Spydr is up. He gave my foot a bit of a poke and nothing made me scream. *sigh* and insurance won't go live until August...

*shakes tiny fist* CURSES!!!

oooo codeine just kicked in.... still hurts, but i dont care so much now.

still need cruches.

hooray for laptops.
staxxy: (Magi)
There is an old saying that states that any man can be a Father, but it takes someone special to be a Dad. The gist of which is that any one with some fertile semen can create new life (fertile female assumed), but that a DAD is someone who actually gets involved in a positive way in the life of their children.

Society has enormous expectations for Dads. They have to be strong, comforting, and good providers. The Societal expectation that Dads are also Husbands is slowly going away, thankfully, but there is still a hefty amount of expectation on that end as well. It is hard to be a Mom as well, but this post is not about Moms (and is not going to get into that issue, perhaps I will do that one another time).

I grew up without a dad. I had a grandpa who filled most of those Father Figure roles for me, and an Uncle (Don) who filled in some of the rest. My mom tried to fill both roles, but it is DAMN hard to be mom AND dad.

That said, I just wanted to take a few minutes to appreciate and really comment on the Dads that I do know. A really good Dad tends to get cherished by their progeny as well as the friends of their progeny. Spydrman has a good Dad. Most of my best friends have good Dads as well. I am lucky that those Dad do not mind being shared. :)

Some of my friends ARE good Dads as well.

These are the guys who take the time to teach their kids about stuff they do, play with their children, actually explain things in the world and universe to their children, make their children a priority, soothe the hurts their children have (as best they can), take their kids to things (soccer, hockey, band, dance, or other practice/class), often they get involved in activities their kids are doing (hockey, soccer, band, theatre, school, whatever), they help their kids when they can, they set boundaries for their kids (kids need boundaries, no really)... In short, they actually NURTURE their kids.

It's not always that easy to be a nurturer and a MAN at the same time. So many of the pressures of our world are focused on the MAN being strong, unemotional, gruff, to be the big Problem Solver, to BUILD and REPAIR everything, and to "bring home the bacon". Society tells us that men are the pillars we lean on for strength. Society doesn't ever tell us where men are supposed to find that strength. It's a pretty hefty load for Dads to carry, and I think most of them do it pretty quietly (how many dads have YOU heard talk about the expectations they have upon them?). The thing is that it isn't just their peers or coworkers that are providing those expectations; often, it is coming from the older generations of their own family - particularly their own parents. To be the modern Dad and still be able to uphold the traditional Dad roles - it's pretty damned impressive.

This is often magnified by the relationship of Dad with the Other Parent - sometimes in a good way, and sometimes not. Any more it is just as likely for Dad to live WITH their children as NOT, or to only have their children part of the time. Not living with their children adds in the expectation of Having a Life when they aren't Being a Parent. But those Dads really never stop being a parent, just because the child is staying not with them. I think that gets lost on a lot of us really, and it shouldn't be. It's even harder to be a *good* dad when you don't have your children there to nurture all the time.

Now, don't get me wrong. There is a pretty big importance on being a good Uncle, grandfather, or other male type role model as well. But, unless these people are living with the children, it's not exactly as large of a role.

So, to all the dads I know that really are DADS - good job man, you really are amazing, and thanks for doing your best for your kids. It makes a difference to everyone who knows you, whether they say anything about it or not.

heh

Apr. 29th, 2006 03:23 pm
staxxy: (velvet huddle)
when it rains, it pours... or it least it does today...

MONSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON**


Quick!!! Somebody build an ARC!!!







**really, it just amuses me to say Monsooooooooooooooooooooooooooon. And it is doing that sideways rain thing you get in wind, so the trees are whipping around and the rains looks like a special effect. But we are WAAAAAAAAY to far north for real monsoooooooooooooooooooooooooons.

*giggles a lot*
staxxy: (Default)
Should've, would've, could've - contractions of should have, would have, and could have. As in "I would have come, but I had to wash my cat".

IT IS NEVER SHOULD OF, WOULD OF, OR COULD OF. DESPITE HOW IT SOUNDS.

Your, you're, and yore-

Your means "belongs to you". As in, "your vest", "your cat", "your car", "your plans", "your mom". Things that are yours are not mine.

You're is a contraction of YOU ARE. As in "you're here", "you're coming, right?", "you're my best friend".

Yore means "long ago" as in "in the days of yore, when the earth was young and the sky was new".

PLEASE STOP USING YOUR WHEN YOU ACTUALLY MEAN YOU'RE. THEY ARE NOT NOW, NOR HAVE THEY EVER BEEN, INTERCHANGABLE.
staxxy: (Wynne)
On occasion I consider the things that feed my brain.

Not just the books I read, the news I may or may not pay attention to, or even the music I listen to.

But the things that feed my brain more than anything else, the people I have in my life. The ones I play games with online (which, I confess, largely means chatting with a great deal), the people who comment on my posts in livejournal, the people whom I read on livejournal (whose posts I may or may not comment on), the people I speak to on the phone, and the few I see in person (often because of work or related situations).

Blah blah blah... my point is that I am happy that the people in my life do not always agree with me, do not always speak about things I am interested in specifically, do not always post things that make me happy, and that they are not always around when *I* think I might need them. Because of these things I think about things from different angles, I consider things that had never occurred to me, I learn about things I would have no exposure to otherwise, I am not always in complete control of my emotions, and sometimes I have to try harder to make something happen for myself.

It makes me feel more whole, more complete, and more rounded.

thanks.
staxxy: (Veil)
Sucking it up when things are bad is not always the best answer. Sometimes it is better to say "no, this is not okay with me, I deserve *this* instead".

For a few of you, that may mean that you need a new situation. For a few of you that means communicating more effectively when things are upsetting you.

and for a few of you, that means listening to those in our life when they say "this is bothering me and I want to talk about it" without taking it as an attack.

Take a deep breath and remember that we all have needs, and they may not always be what those around us think they are. But very few people can read minds, so if it's important to you, you are going to have to TELL THEM.

And sucking it up nearly always means resentment in the long run, and we all know *that* is not good for anyone or any situation.

**this message brought to you by the large number of you who are currently speaking of having these sorts of issues in your own lives.

*****this message is posted publicly, and all comments will be screened for everyone's privacy******

great love

Mar. 10th, 2005 03:28 am
staxxy: (Magi)
tonight I was ruminating on what qualifies a romance as a "great love". I am not talking about soul mates or the big romantic stories (although they often are).

What got me started on this line of thought: I watched a few Bogey/Bacall films, and then watched Frida.

And you can't tell the story of either Lauren Bacall or Humphrey Bogart without telling the story of the other one as well.

Just as you can not tell the story of Frida Kahlo without telling the story of Diego Rivera.

I am really blessed that I live in one of those stories. You can not tell my story without telling the story of Spydrman, or tell his story without mine.

I am even more blessed that this is true with other couples in my life. I am surrounded by and immersed in great love. It is inspiring and comforting and real. And I am very grateful for it. Thank you.
staxxy: (Veil)
why is being in the cold *such* a big deal for me? Why do the weather changes matter that much to me? What exactly does it mean when I am having a "flare up"?

Your answers are here, if you are interested in them )

In the Immortal worlds of Westley (Princess Bride) "Life is Pain, Highness". Or at least *mine* is.
staxxy: (Default)
There's a difference between humility and self-debasement. Humility, to me, means knowing you're good but not being above teaching what you know and giving of yourself. It bugs the hell out of me when someone is recognized for their work then turn around and say crap like, "I'm not that good," or "I really don't deserve this." That's not humility, that's insulting the persons who thought you were good enough to be recognized for your work. It's also insulting to yourself.

from [livejournal.com profile] lawst

It is important for everyone to realize this difference.

ummmm WTF?

Feb. 6th, 2005 01:54 pm
staxxy: (frustrated)
seen in the comments on a friend's LJ
"you should use protection until you know him better..."

Is this to imply that fluid bonding should be a REGULAR AND NORMAL PRACTICE early in relationships now?????

If you aren't part of a long term relationship with someone, USE SOME FUCKING COMMON SENSE AND USE A GODDAMN CONDOM. People could have STDs and not even KNOW IT. Don't be FUCKING STUPID. Don't risk your life for little heightened sensation.

and guys, if you just can't keep it up with a fucking condom on, LEARN TO LOVE MASTURBATION. Likewise, if you aren't using condoms because the church says NO, then you shouldn't be having PREMARITAL SEX either. If you are going to follow the church doctrines, then FUCKING FOLLOW THEM ALL THE GODDAMN WAY.

and yeah, I am a bit grumpy about this. And YEAH I HAVE EVERY FUCKING RIGHT TO BE.

THE REASON THAT NEITHER MY SISTER NOR I EVER GOT TO MEET OUR OWN FATHER IS THAT HE DIED OF AIDS A FEW YEARS BEFORE WE WERE OLD ENOUGH TO HUNT HIM DOWN OURSELVES.

And yeah, I know a couple of the people on my friends list have Aids. And yeah, several other friends of mine outside LJ have Aids. And no, I don't.
staxxy: (Spidey)
and she nails it on the head about getting married.

all of you who are married, going to be married, used to be married, want to be married, or are stay far away from marriage should go read her post now.

go on, shoo. No comments for you, because she deserves them all. She rocks.
staxxy: (shrink)
One of the things that is most fretted about is weight and size.

The phrase "do I look too fat/skinny to you?" (or something similar) is heard or uttered by all of us a few times in our lives.

This is what everyone needs to realize about that idea- )

and insecurity about your looks is *never* sexy.
staxxy: (dark)
It is *also* the birthday of Benjamin Franklin. He is my favorite American Forefather. :D

And it is Martin Luther King day (his actual birthday is the 15th though). A day when all of the things on TV remind you to look at how interracially mixed your life is or is not. I am pleased that I have no idea about such things until I consider my friends individually and with great focus. And even *then* I am likely to forget who belongs to which race and get religion mixed up with it. Since, to me, what color your skin is only matters if I am drawing on you, putting makeup on you for a shoot, or trying to match an article of clothing to your skin. It doesn't matter if I an drawing a picture *of* you because I never use "human" skin tones anyway (go surrealists!).

I think my mom did a good job with how she raised me on this account. I am far more likely to pay attention to how a person moves and behaves than how they dress or how they look. Whenever I hear the phrase "mixed relationship" I think "2 different subcultures" (like a Raver falling in love with a Hiphop Queen, or a Goth falling in love with a Rockabilly boy), I have to hear more before I think "racially mixed".

This is probably why people who try hard to change the color of their own skin* confuse me so much. It's like someone trying to wear a mask all the time. that's just fucked up.

*truth be told, I would love to be able to have blue or lavender skin on a whim though. To change the color of my skin as easily as the color of my hair, and into the same shades... wooo that would be FUN.
staxxy: (Default)
remember kids:

1) painting all of your exes as villainous pricks only makes *you* look like the asshole.

2) if you are going to villainize everyone you date, don't date from your circle of friends. You run out of them eventually and are left all alone.

this message brought to you by the committee for learning mistakes from the STUPID.

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