Specifically *my blood*... more specifically, My heart. A lot of you on my friends list are fairly new friends and so you do not remember when I had a heart attack 10 years ago and how everything in my life suddenly CHANGED.
So, they are sending me in for Stress Testing. And lately my heart has been more of an issue.
And the threat of the Defibrilator used on your while you are awake so they can slow your heart down is one hell of a motivator.
So this is me clearly stating my boundries again. Most everyone has already heard this, but A lot of things have really been crystalizing for me the last few weeks about my relationships with people.
I honestly do not have time for mind games or passive aggressive bullshit in my direction. If you want something from me, want me to treat you some certain way, do something for you, whatever - FUCKING ASK ME. Really, odds are that I will say yes, none of you has had any unrealisitic requests from me so far. If I say no, no amount of manipulation is going to change my mind. Altho, if you do use manipulation on me (or try) to get something, you are far less likely to get it than just asking. Manipulation irritates me at the best of times, and right now it's a real deal breaker, my heart is too fragile - literally.
If we are having any kind of tense, exuberant, energetic, or whatever conversation/argument/debate and I say "we have to stop for a little while" this is NON NEGOTIABLE, it means my heart is freaking out from the adreniline, and I need to let it rest for a little while. most of the time that just means a change of topic for 5 or 10 minutes. Then we can go back to where we were. IF YOU CAN NOT TAKE THE STOP NOW HINT I WILL HAVE TO STOP TALKING TO YOU PERIOD. There is no reason for ANYONE to be careless with my LIFE. Period.
that's really it. Not really pointing fingers or anything, honest. I just want to make sure it is very clear what the boundries are right now. Things are a little more scary for me right now than is normal - so I have to play things really close.
Really, I play these rules both ways. I am pretty blunt about asking, and I respect the "we need to change topics for a little while" reqests too.
Everyone needs solid boundries. These are mine.
and, OO LOOK IT'S A PUBLIC POST. BECAUSE I WANT TO MAKE SURE EVERYONE FUCKING KNOWS!!!