Clues for the Clueless - on dating

[staxxy]

remember kids:

1) painting all of your exes as villainous pricks only makes *you* look like the asshole.

2) if you are going to villainize everyone you date, don't date from your circle of friends. You run out of them eventually and are left all alone.

this message brought to you by the committee for learning mistakes from the STUPID.

Comments

[stryper666.livejournal.com]

"1) painting all of your exes as villainous pricks only makes *you* look like the asshole."

One of the various reasons I fell in love with Cyn. She only spoke ill of one ex, whom happened to be a junkie. Her other exes...well...she's still great friends with (a turn-on for me, as she can keep friends).

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

awwww. that's just beautiful.

I am friends with most of my exes as well. I mean, really, there was a *reason* I was ever with them in the first place.

[stryper666.livejournal.com]

Then there's me: Not friends with my exes. I get along with a couple, but that's it.


Sadly, the only one I was truely friends with was Jessica.

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

*hugs* :)

That is the sort of irony she loved though.

[dansfey.livejournal.com]

Not to mention good friends make great lovers from time to time.

Spread out the love between you and your friends.

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

well yes, but only if you aren't villainizing them afterwards.

[dansfey.livejournal.com]

exactly.

[squashcup.livejournal.com]

Oh, you're so right, but then I'm sure you knew that.

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

:D yes, I sure did.

[sistawendy.livejournal.com]

I had one ex at my wedding. Her Nibs thought it was a little... odd.

[icprncs.livejournal.com]

Hell, one of my exes is *DJing* my wedding.

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

*hooray* I bet I know which one. ;)

[icprncs.livejournal.com]

I only have two exes in this town. It's not as if it's difficult to figure out. ;)

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

hahahahaha.

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

some people do not get on well with their exes.

I have several on my *friends list*. ;)

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

oh, I am sure they fantasize about it all the time. ;)

[imflying.livejournal.com]

don't date from your circle of friends


WELL said.


Unfortunately, just not that many "normies" are into going clubbing with "freakies". :)


At my birthday party You-Know-Who thought he was in a room full of my exes. Funny, not one was there.

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

too true. too true. :)

speaking of birthdays... will I see you on Sunday?

[my-poison-apple.livejournal.com]

Exactly! I try to be friends with people I've dated in the past. Doesn't always work out--particularly if we weren't friends in the first place (bad idea!) or if situations don't allow for it--but I try. My first ex, from long ago, was the person who gave me my initial LJ invite code. :)

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

right on!!

[dragons-dreams.livejournal.com]

I don't have much ill to speak of my first ex. He has his issues and I have mine. We weren't compatible. We don't speak, as he would love to get back together and I'm married.

However, my son's father continues to do moronic things and makes my life difficult. I vent my frustration here because I shouldn't sit a 6 year old down and tell him what an asshole I picked for a sperm donor.

I found myself on the outside of a circle of friends when his coworkers decided that keeping a civil work environment was more important than being honest about the abuse they witnessed. I have more loyal friends now

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

I am glad you have real friends a last. Abuse is never okay.

[tricelt.livejournal.com]

Daren beat me what I was going to post; there's only one I speak harsh of and for good reason. Not only was he the first to break my heart, he turned to drugs then tried screwing with my mind once he was clean again. He's also the only one I would be scared to bump into/see again.
There's three I just don't speak of (ironically my first three) because there's nothing bad or good to say about them.

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

heh. I get on well with most of my exes. There are a few I do not speak of but for the same reason you don't speak of the few of yours.

It is better this way, I think. :D

[aaminahlefae.livejournal.com]

I seem to have had a problem doing the opposite; filtered memories of all the good stuff making them seem better than how I felt about them when I dated them. There's a hidey ex but otherwise; I'm friends with most. Mike's a pretty good buddy when I get to see him and it's looking like Darin and I are doing an ok job at the friend thing so far.

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

excellent!!

[evaria.livejournal.com]

Thanks to some big personality changes I don't really chat with most of my ex's, but not because they're bad, we just don't have alot in common any more. I have one ex that stole a lot of money from me and one who hates me with the fire of hell(I'm kind of indifferent really) but otherwise they're all cool people.

I agree that somebody who spends too much timing complaining about how horrible their ex's were doesn't strike me as someone I can continue to be friends with if things don't work out and I'm not okay with that anymore. If it's a choice between getting my rocks off and being friends, friends always wins.

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

hallelujah.

[coulrophobe.livejournal.com]

But one of my exes is a villainous prick (though his official nickname is "the Flaming Dickwad")! Just one though, really. And even him, I've tried to bury the hatchet with. But he always ends up saying something that makes me want to bury the hatchet in his cranium.

I'm friends with most of the guys I've dated, and that's the way it should be.

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

yeah, I have the one big flaming evil ex. Just the one, I think most girls have that *one*. The one that made us more cautious. The one that all of our friends want to kill.

[peloquyn.livejournal.com]

I don't dislike my ex-whatevers, I just lost track of them. I don't have the energy to spend on being that negative, I guess. There are reasons I dated them in the first place, and those qualities are still part of who they are.

Well said, Stax.

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

exactly. :)

[lawst.livejournal.com]

I asked a couple more people last night if they remember what it was that I did and got the same answer: No one ever really knew. I was an ex, therefore I deserved to be run through the mill.

I know why she hates me *now*. During the divorce I helped her ex by giving him a signed and notorised afidavit that yes I DID have a romantic relationship with her (which she lied about during the court proceedings), that she had other relationships with women (which she also lied about), and that she villianised every ex she ever had immediately after breaking up in order to gain support to the point that they probably could have sued her for libel. So yeah, she has good reason to hate me now. I figured if she couldn't come up with a good reason I'd give her one.

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

hahahahahahahahaha. Yeah, it was all gibberish and sputtering.

Dramarrific!

[lizardmonk.livejournal.com]

Granted, life can't all be black roses and moonlight (tongue planted firmly in cheek). However, no one likes a date where the other person is bitching about ex-lovers. That conversation is boring, spiritually draining, and only serves to demonstrate the speaker's own asshattery.

To wit, dates are supposed to be fun. :)

Re: Dramarrific!

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

indeed. that too.

[intrepid-reason.livejournal.com]

I don't have that many ex's in the past decade only 4, I am still friends with 3 of them, and yes I did villianize one of them but I also recognize my culpability in allowing him to use me the way he did.

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

You are only villainizing them if they *did not* treat you badly. I know one of your exes did treat you badly. Hopefully we are thinking of the same on.

[intrepid-reason.livejournal.com]

Talking about Brendan...

[staxxy.livejournal.com]

oh good!!! Me too.

[intrepid-reason.livejournal.com]

He was sooo very good, he had me convinced that it was all my fault and that I was the broken one. I am thankful for my friends who bitch slapped me out of that thinking. I've since had someone describe a borderline personality, it fit him to a T. What a useless, using little prick. OK Wow that felt good.{:o)